Posts

My Immune System is Attacking Me

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Tonight I have a really work big event: my boss's third State of the City speech. I've spent hours writing and tweaking the speech. Our team has been working feverishly for the last month to ensure the event will go off without a hitch. Yet this morning, before I get moving, I will give myself an injection of a biologic medication that targets my Crohn's inflammation. This tiny little syringe of goodness will keep me going for the next eight(ish) weeks.  Then tonight I will be at the boss's speech in a kick ass dress, super high heels, and you will never know I'm sick. How does this small thing keep someone healthy for weeks? Incredible.  Incredibles band-aids because I'm a boy mom.  I'm really, really good at pretending to be well. I've spent my entire adult life doing it, and I'm a master. You'd likely never guess that the last time you saw me I felt crummy. I am able to push through a lot, and that's one of the biggest challenges...

Because Vodka Isn't Interesting

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It's no secret that I have strong opinions about pretty much everything. A few years ago a friend said to me that I espouse my opinion like it's a fact, and I thought um obviously because it is. Despite my strong opinions I don't expect everyone to agree with me (how boring would that be?) even though we all know I'm right. It's also no secret that I love cocktails. (Think there's no connection here? Wait for it.) I'm a huge wine fan - champagne, white ( only  in the summer and only  Sauvignon Blanc), red all year long (preferably Pinot Noir). I love bourbon and gin cocktails, and I don't hate rum but it's definitely saved for summer or tropical locations. Last year I broke my arbitrary "I don't drink rum north of Miami rule" by making the mojito my pool drink.  Champagne and oysters in Boston. Champagne in the sunshine in Florida. Sensing a pattern here... I don't drink tequila because I don't enjoy the taste. But ...

2019 in the Rear View

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In my first post of 2019 I promised to start prioritizing myself again. I'll give you one guess as to where I fell on the priority list this year: I think we all know it was last. In a life that's moving at warp speed, finding time to do the things that are important to me - namely exercise, reading, sleeping - has been difficult. If anything I only became further entrenched in work and busy, and in 2020 that has to stop. No it will  stop because this pace is unsustainable. And for the love of God I need sleep. In 2019 I discovered Melatonin, and it has very quickly become my best friend. But even with that I have many nights where I can't turn off my brain. This week I came home after a city council meeting Monday night and stayed up with my husband to watch a few shows. I went to bed around 11:30 (very late for me), but then my phone rang at midnight with a call from our police department. When my son woke up at 4:45 am I guzzled two cups of coffee and was on it. But f...

Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

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I've been thinking a lot lately about joy - finding joy in every day. I have an extremely busy job, and when it gets super busy (especially in weeks like this where I've working into the evenings multiple days), I find myself struggling to find joy. Last night I walked into the house at 8 pm after a crazy busy day that started in the office at 7:45. I took my son with me to my evening event, and I'd been in a dress and heels for more than 12 hours. I didn't feel joy; I felt exhausted.  My colleague got this photo of my little guy and me at an evening meeting. I love my job. I love cities - especially MY city - and I love what I do. But doing it well and checking all the boxes means spending a lot of hours. And in the last few months that has felt more exhausting than joyful. Last summer I was asked to be on the board of Engaging Local Government Leaders (ELGL), a great national organization of local government professionals. It's a passionate, fun group, an...

Am I Only Human After All?

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It's really hard for me to face not being well. For the last twenty one years I've refused to let Crohn's define me even though I realize in times of extreme issues it does tend to drive the narrative for a bit until I get back to good. I've had four bowel obstructions, and I've bounced back quickly after three of those. In 2012 I ran the Capital City River Run 5k two weeks after my obstruction and placed in my age group. In 2014 I broke my PR in the 10k three months after a month-long hospital stay that included two surgeries. In 2017 I was in New Orleans just a few weeks after a bowel obstruction. I wasn't running much but I felt okay. It's been nearly three weeks since I was released from the hospital, and for the first time I'm having a really tough time getting my groove back. I'm exhausted. By the time 8 pm arrives I'm dead tired. I have low phosphorus and electrolyte levels which are contributing to the fatigue. And I still haven't...

Ignoring the Signs

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I've spent the last 2-3 weeks powering through some significant Crohn's symptoms: dehydration, excessive trips to the bathroom, extreme fatigue. I joked to one of my colleagues that work has been so busy that I would love a small hospital stay to get a break. That's the kind of joke I should apparently never make.  Obviously my life is never short of busy - either personally or professionally. Last week I left work at 9 p.m. on Monday following a city council meeting, and I was awake at 3:45 a.m. in order to be on a 5:30 a.m. plane to Chicago. I flew to Chicago to participate in an  ELGL (Engaging Local Government Leaders ) event, an organization on whose board I am a member.  I flew to Chicago and back in a single day, feeling like a kick ass boss lady. I got to Detroit's airport with a bit of a layover, and I decided to have dinner and relax before my quick flight to Lansing. I took some calls, responded to emails, and was enjoying some quiet time. My flight ended...

Drink all the Daiquiris

Today is the 20th anniversary of my 21st birthday. I remember that night so vividly (okay so I remember the first  part of that night so vividly). Wow if I knew then what I know now, I would've handled my 20's so differently. If I could write a letter to myself, I'd have the best advice... Dear 21-year-old me: Happy birthday! You're about to drink an obscene amount of strawberry daiquiris tonight at Crockett's. Do it! You're only young once, and your life is going to take some unexpected turns more quickly than you expect. Drink the daiquiris. Let yourself live a little. You're heading into your senior year of college, and you've been so  serious. You've gone to the gym five days a week at 6 am. You've worked multiple jobs. You feel guilty about having fun. STOP THE MADNESS. You'll be working out and working hard for the rest of your life. You have great grades, and you've earned them. You'll get into law school, you'll have...