Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying

I've been thinking a lot lately about joy - finding joy in every day. I have an extremely busy job, and when it gets super busy (especially in weeks like this where I've working into the evenings multiple days), I find myself struggling to find joy. Last night I walked into the house at 8 pm after a crazy busy day that started in the office at 7:45. I took my son with me to my evening event, and I'd been in a dress and heels for more than 12 hours. I didn't feel joy; I felt exhausted. 
My colleague got this photo of my little guy and me at an evening meeting.
I love my job. I love cities - especially MY city - and I love what I do. But doing it well and checking all the boxes means spending a lot of hours. And in the last few months that has felt more exhausting than joyful.

 Last summer I was asked to be on the board of Engaging Local Government Leaders (ELGL), a great national organization of local government professionals. It's a passionate, fun group, and one of the goals is to find joy in public service. I spent two days in Atlanta with this fantastic group of people, and I spent a lot of time thinking of ways to reclaim joy in my life.
Feeling joy with our ELGL executive director. The wine doesn't hurt.
It's not just work that's busy. I was out of town the first three weekends in November. They were wonderful reasons - a weekend away in Boston with my husband, a weekend in West Virginia to visit my mom and watch my Mountaineers play football and the ELGL board retreat. But all of the busy and the pace has me focusing on that (and the resulting exhaustion) not joy. 

 Yesterday afternoon, during the middle of a particularly busy day, a friend from work texted me and asked me to call him. I had just left a lunch meeting with this friend and a few colleagues, so I felt irked that more of my time would be taken with a phone call. I happened to have a few minutes, so I called him quickly. He told me he has stage four cancer that has spread, and I dropped my head to my desk to keep from throwing up or crying or both. He's young with a young family. He's a great human. And I realized that I can't wait until there's time for joy. I have to make time and create joy. 

 In our conversation he mentioned a line from the movie The Shawshank Redemption: "Get busy living or get busy dying." I was so grateful he couldn't see my face during our conversation as I tried to keep it together. But holy crap - stage four cancer? And the quote from the movie was like a punch in the gut. Who knows how much time we have left? We have no idea. That means looking for joy today on the only day we know we've got.

 I've written blog after blog after blog about maintaining perspective, and then I tend to lose it anyway. Today as I'm thinking about joy and how I want my days to look, I have to reassess. I have to remember why I love cities. I have to remember to put my family first even on the busiest and hardest of days. And I have to celebrate every day. I've got to get busy living. 

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