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Showing posts from January, 2016

Hello Running, my Old Friend

After running the New York Marathon , a half marathon and two 5ks in November, I needed a break. I wasn't enjoying running, and I decided to take a little time off. I may have gone to extremes given that I can count on one hand the number of times I've run in December and January. I've been working out even more than usual with lots of cross training, but I haven't been running. Last weekend I decided I needed to get back outside and back into the running groove. My break was over. On Sunday morning I took my dogs for a mile walk to warm up my legs and get them out of the house. The winter weather has been wreaking havoc on their walk schedule, and the pups' cabin fever has been pretty intense. It was colder than I thought it would be, and I immediately started trying to talk myself out of running. Why run when I could just pop in a DVD in the warmth of my living room? If I'm being honest one of my T25 workouts is harder than a short run anyway. I forced

We May Lose and We May Win, but We Will Never be Here Again

After the craziness of losing my dad last year, I gained a lot of perspective. I spent the last three months of the year feeling more relaxed and appropriately focused than I have been in a long time. I guess grief does that to you. Unfortunately something happened when I went back to work on January 4, 2016. It's like I flipped the switch, the perspective flew out the window, and just over two weeks into the new year I find that I'm reminding myself to breathe and wondering if I have any Xanax leftover anywhere. I've already shared my unnecessary need to be perfect , and it can be a compulsion. Sometimes I can let it go, and sometimes it can control me. I schedule my life so rigidly that the tiniest thing can throw my day into a tailspin. I realize it's irrational, and I realize I have to prioritize. It can feel like a lot though. Last week I went to Traverse City for work. Due to winter weather my colleague and I decided to leave a day earlier, and I don't do

Moving On

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Last week one of my colleagues/really good friends left our organization for a new job. I realize this happens all the time, but we've worked together for eight years. It's been really challenging for me to accept, and halfway through her first week at a new job I'm still in denial. This is my friend Nikki who has been my daily confidante and frequent running friend (and has even had a blog dedicated to her!) I'm so excited for her new opportunity, but it's going to be weird to not plop into the chair in her office and talk about whatever is bothering me. Now I'll have to meet her somewhere for coffee (I should mention her office is two long blocks away). So much more inconvenient. As large life changes are wont to do it got me thinking about moving on. God it's so hard. I think in general people hang onto things in life - relationships, jobs, goals - because it's so much easier to hang on than to let go.  I've been notorious for doing this wit

Perfection and June Motherf*cking Cleaver

* Disclaimer: I swear more in this post than usual. If that offends you I'm led to wonder 1) how we're friends and 2) why you read this in general. I've spent my entire life trying to be perfect. I'm all about goals, so why not shoot for one that is literally unobtainable? The thing about perfection is that it's completely subjective. My definition of perfect may be completely different than yours. For me perfection is about efficiency. The more I can accomplish the closer I get to my goal of perfection. If you leave me to my own devices for any length of time I will come up with some kind of project. Over Christmas break it was things like organizing my pantry and organizing my son's closet (a task I find myself doing every few months as he grows out of things so quickly.) I rarely stop moving. While my son's nap time should be an opportunity to take a break, for me it means time to exercise, fold laundry, vacuum, and (insert other project here). There