I Hear Voices

I've been rather vocal about how important it is for me to run naked. Running is my alone time. It's my time to meditate. It's my time to sort through the myriad thoughts in my head and make sense of them. Music is a great distraction, but it clutters my mind. There is very little time in life when it's just me and the wind whistling in my ears.

Most runners I know listen to music while they're running. Not only is the quiet time really important for me, but headphones are so annoying. I feel like I should be able to take a few hours of my week and enjoy the silence. My other runner friends often ask me how I stay focused and what I think about. It's easy...I listen to the voices in my head.

Okay I guess I just hear one voice - my own. Today, for example, I was thinking of a work project I'm pulling together. I ran through my to do list for the week. I thought about how to strengthen the connection between Downtown and Old Town Lansing. It was sunny and warm, and I started thinking about how warm it'll likely be during the 10k I'm running in Nashville on the 4th of July. My thoughts meandered to how much I love warm weather (except when I'm running) and when I'll be able to go the pool with Will. I wonder when the new bathing suit I ordered will be arriving, and added checking on its status to my list of things to do. 

Have you ever had an encounter with someone, and later you've thought "ugh I wish I'd said ____"? I work through those imaginary conversations in my head while I'm running. When I start to lose motivation I start thinking about why I run. I run to stay healthy. I run to be in shape. I run so the new bathing suit I just ordered looks awesome. Today I thought about walking, and the thought of how I want to look in that bathing suit kept me going.

Before we bought our current house I redecorated it in my mind while running. I've decompressed after an argument with my husband or a particularly tough day at work. It helped me through nearly six years of trying to have a baby. Now it helps me shake it out when I've been carrying around my 15-pound love bug all day.

In order to be sane, I have to listen to the voices in my head. It turns out they're pretty wise. I'd recommend leaving the music at home and trying it sometime. 

(Also now this song has been in my head all day). 

 

  

Comments

  1. AnitaMay 31, 2015 at 2:48 PM

    Funny different we all are. You find music a distraction and I try to drown out the sound of my breathing and outside distrations with the sound of music. I am very ADD. So music actually intercedes for the barrage of triggers that derail me.

    On a junk mile day I do enjoy running free. Enjoying my sporadic breathing, llistening to the birds, watching the squirrels and accepting my prayers and thoughts being constantly interrupted by something special!
    We are all so different and I love to hear the differences. I think its awesome how We are all made.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Some Reasons Why Diet Culture is Garbage: I Poop a Lot and I'm Always Hungry

Image
It was the spring of 1996, and my mom and I were at the mall shopping for my senior prom dress. I had decided I was only going to eat 500 calories a day over the weekend. It was track season, so I couldn't starve myself on practice and meet days, but in my mind it seemed perfectly logical to basically starve my healthy, 17-year-old body on less physical days. I was in the fitting room trying on dresses, and I heard the sales person say to my mom, "Your daughter is so tiny!" I was light headed and nauseous from not eating, but that overheard compliment made me feel like it was all worth it.  Senior Prom 1996 I've struggled with my body image since I was a pre-teen, and in the 30+ years that have passed it's still something with which I struggle daily. I spent years punishing my body so I wouldn't gain weight: eating very few calories and working out for hours, purging, taking laxatives, only drinking alcohol until I threw up so I wouldn't gain weight. It...
Read more

Here's a Shortcut: Do the Work.

Image
I have a confession to make: I don't think I'm my best self right now. I've been thinking a lot about being my best self overall (including fitness which is a huge thing for me), and I've come to a simple, unalienable truth: there is no shortcut. To be the best version of yourself (whatever that means) you have to do the work. I'm not the same version of myself at 46 as I was at 26. (Man could I give that girl some good advice though.) I spend a lot of time reflecting on who I am and who I want to be. While doing the work all the time seems daunting on its surface, it's not. It doesn't mean life has to be a grind 24/7, but it does mean that there is effort in whatever is important to you (which of course is unique to each of us). Where am I willing to do the work to be the best version of me? Fitness. I love exercise. My husband says I'm "obsessed", and I retort that there are way worse obsessions. While I'm logging way fewer miles than I ...
Read more

Why Do I Talk About my "Stuff"?

Image
A few months ago a friend told me someone we knew was venting that I share too much about myself in my blog and on social media. She said (I'm paraphrasing) something like "We all go through stuff. There's no need to share it." At first I was irritated until I realized this person has zero impact on my life. And it's true: we are all going through things. But since then I've been thinking a lot about why I am so candid about things in my life (in particular my struggle with Crohn's Disease).  I was 19 when I got sick. It was so embarrassing. No college girl wants to tell people they're dealing with bloody diarrhea and nausea and horrible cramps. That's the thing about a chronic illness: it's easy to feel like you don't have anyone to lean on. I had my colon removed 5 weeks before I started law school (the delightful adventure chronicled in this blog ). I began law school having lost 30 pounds in less than a month, with steroids puffing up m...
Read more