Friday, February 28, 2014

Thanks for Making me a Fighter

I don't remember ever not being super Type A. When I was a little kid I used to get bored when I was visiting someone and would actually clean their house (as either most offensive or best visitor ever). I like things to be neat and tidy and efficient. Life, however, doesn't really care about those things. As a matter of fact it likes to scoff at you for thinking you're ever really in control. Intellectually I know this, but it doesn't make me less of a control freak.

Two things in my life - Crohn's and the adoption process - have been the ultimate tests of my ability to be in control.  I remember telling my surgeon a month before I was starting law school that emergency surgery was not an option, and we would talk about doing it during Christmas break. Life laughed hard, I had an emergency colectomy, but I still started law school three weeks later. Take that life, I thought at the time. Unpredictability has made this Type A person a fighter.

I had three surgeries my first year of law school, the other two being over Christmas and spring breaks. Many of my classmates didn't even realize it. I pushed hard to ensure that I didn't miss a beat. I was tired, and it was difficult. But now when I hear people complain about their first year of law school (which in fairness does suck), I like to tell them they should add three surgeries to the mix and see how much harder it is. My expectations of the level of excellence I expect from myself keep me pushing back against whatever the universe is throwing at me. While I've been Type A for my whole life, but it took health adversity for me to realize what a fighter I am.

I've had a crazy busy few weeks at work, but apparently that just isn't enough for me. I'm running, swimming, cross training and in my free time still trying to carve out time to relax. Let me just say that the relaxation is falling to the bottom of the list. I did a blog a few weeks ago about hard being what makes something great. But the only way to get through the hard is to fight for it. Sure, maybe my level of energy and obscenely packed schedule can be a bit much, but to me it's worth fighting for.

March is a ridiculous month for me. I'm in DC, Louisville, and I have my legislative work conference. I look at the calendar and wonder how I'm going to fit it all in. Starting in the pool for triathlon training has also added a huge challenge in my life. I'm getting up at 5 am two days a week to get in the pool. But these are challenges, things that will ultimately be the moments in life where I look back and think wow, I did some really cool stuff.

Maybe I'll never really be in control, but the hard stuff makes me a fighter. And this blog makes me have Christina Aguilera's "Fighter" in my head. It's about a breakup, but I dedicate it to the hard stuff (I'm talking about you, Crohn's and baby stuff) and say thank you. In Christina's words: You "make me that much stronger. Make me work a little bit harder. Make me that much wiser. So thanks for making me a fighter!"



No comments:

Post a Comment