Thursday, September 10, 2015


When you're dealing with life's challenges, sometimes it's hard to feel grateful. It can be difficult to appreciate that what you're going through isn't the worst thing anyone is going through. I have work regularly to put my challenges in perspective.

In the last week I've had two IV infusions: an iron infusion and my regular biologic therapy infusion for Crohn's. The iron infusion didn't go as planned. Instead of a 30 minute infusion the doctor changed the medication at the last minute.  I was there for four hours and had to cancel my afternoon meetings. I was pre-medicated with Benedryl that knocked me out for two hours. The WiFi wasn't working properly in the doctor's office, and the giant list of work projects I needed to get through would have to wait until I got home. I was frustrated that I was stuck there most of the day. 

I forced myself to take a step back and think about it. The work was still there when I got home, and thanks to my awesome husband taking over baby duties I was able to get through it all in a few hours. I was able to get my second iron infusion in a week, and I'm already noticing a difference in my energy level. I was being infused at a blood and cancer treatment center, and I wasn't there to receive chemotherapy like many of the other patients. My inconvenient day suddenly felt less inconvenient. I found myself thinking about the things for which I was grateful instead of the ways the day had gone wrong.

I've gotten a biologic therapy infusion for Crohn's for 13 years. It's sometimes inconvenient, but they're scheduled six weeks in advance. I know I've just got to block off the time and do it. There's no other option. Sometimes, in weeks like this week, it's frustrating to be stuck to an IV for large chunks of two days, but it can't be helped. I'll be in Traverse City for our conference next week, and it's more important that I am 100% for a week with members than being in the office all day every day this week.

It's a regular struggle to put things in perspective. Sometimes I want to kick and scream and feel sorry for myself for having two infusions in one week. I want to go home and lie down in bed because I've had two IV infusions. Nobody else I know had to have two infusions this week. Why can't I just relax? Why do I have to go back to work? Why can't I sleep the day away? That's not an option for me. This is my normal, and it means I keep going. I keep pushing. Because that's who I am. 

I am grateful that there is medication that keeps my Crohn's in check. I'm grateful that these iron infusions will help give me the energy I've been lacking the last six months or so. I'm grateful that while I do have a significant health issue, it could be worse. It can always be worse. I have so many things to be thankful for. The right perspective makes the difficult manageable. The right perspective makes the impossible possible.

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