You have to suffer to be beautiful.

It's all my mom's fault really. As I finished my run this evening, IT band screaming, I kept thinking "you have to suffer to be beautiful". That's my mantra when anything gets hard. I don't run just to stay in shape, and the mental benefits I get from running probably outweigh the physical. But in those last moments when it's the hardest, those are the words that go through my head.

Do you remember those soft pink curlers we used to wear in our hair overnight? I HATED those things with a passion. I remember my mom putting them in, and as I'd complain she'd say, "You have to suffer to be beautiful." In fairness to my mom, 1) she's an awesome mom and 2) I think she said it to get me to quit complaining. She's not a vain person at all, but every little girl wants to be beautiful.  So I would shut up and sleep on those uncomfortable little things.

So it turns out you can still buy these things. Who knew?
Fast forward 30ish years, and it's what I say to myself not only when I'm running but when I'm doing other unpleasant tasks in the name of beauty - getting my eyebrows waxed, wearing high heels despite having given myself a bunion on my right foot (hot), or getting through the last few minutes of a Jillian Michaels workout DVD. I thought it yesterday when I found my first gray hairs (insert gasp here) and pulled each one out at the roots. It started with little pink curlers and has instead become a mantra for life.

I am sure there are those reading this who think it's terrible to put so much emphasis on looks. But for me this saying isn't about being "beautiful". It's about pushing through things that are unpleasant and uncomfortable to be who we want to be. It's running that last mile. It's pushing just a bit harder. It's working those extra hours. It is for me, in a lot of ways, about being an overachiever. So I could take out the word beautiful and instead say, "you have to suffer to be who you want to be." Because it takes work to run that extra mile. Just ask my IT band.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Some Reasons Why Diet Culture is Garbage: I Poop a Lot and I'm Always Hungry

Image
It was the spring of 1996, and my mom and I were at the mall shopping for my senior prom dress. I had decided I was only going to eat 500 calories a day over the weekend. It was track season, so I couldn't starve myself on practice and meet days, but in my mind it seemed perfectly logical to basically starve my healthy, 17-year-old body on less physical days. I was in the fitting room trying on dresses, and I heard the sales person say to my mom, "Your daughter is so tiny!" I was light headed and nauseous from not eating, but that overheard compliment made me feel like it was all worth it.  Senior Prom 1996 I've struggled with my body image since I was a pre-teen, and in the 30+ years that have passed it's still something with which I struggle daily. I spent years punishing my body so I wouldn't gain weight: eating very few calories and working out for hours, purging, taking laxatives, only drinking alcohol until I threw up so I wouldn't gain weight. It...
Read more

Here's a Shortcut: Do the Work.

Image
I have a confession to make: I don't think I'm my best self right now. I've been thinking a lot about being my best self overall (including fitness which is a huge thing for me), and I've come to a simple, unalienable truth: there is no shortcut. To be the best version of yourself (whatever that means) you have to do the work. I'm not the same version of myself at 46 as I was at 26. (Man could I give that girl some good advice though.) I spend a lot of time reflecting on who I am and who I want to be. While doing the work all the time seems daunting on its surface, it's not. It doesn't mean life has to be a grind 24/7, but it does mean that there is effort in whatever is important to you (which of course is unique to each of us). Where am I willing to do the work to be the best version of me? Fitness. I love exercise. My husband says I'm "obsessed", and I retort that there are way worse obsessions. While I'm logging way fewer miles than I ...
Read more

Why Do I Talk About my "Stuff"?

Image
A few months ago a friend told me someone we knew was venting that I share too much about myself in my blog and on social media. She said (I'm paraphrasing) something like "We all go through stuff. There's no need to share it." At first I was irritated until I realized this person has zero impact on my life. And it's true: we are all going through things. But since then I've been thinking a lot about why I am so candid about things in my life (in particular my struggle with Crohn's Disease).  I was 19 when I got sick. It was so embarrassing. No college girl wants to tell people they're dealing with bloody diarrhea and nausea and horrible cramps. That's the thing about a chronic illness: it's easy to feel like you don't have anyone to lean on. I had my colon removed 5 weeks before I started law school (the delightful adventure chronicled in this blog ). I began law school having lost 30 pounds in less than a month, with steroids puffing up m...
Read more