The Miles I Haven't Run

A few weeks ago it started raining really hard while I was walking the dog. We were about three blocks from home and ran pretty hard the rest of the way. I finished and was exhausted. Running three blocks made me exhausted. It's not okay. I had clawed my way back into good running shape last year after my shoulder surgery, and since November I have been struggling again. I miss running. Running does not miss me.

A lot of people probably love running races in the summer, but my favorite 5k races all come in November and December: the Silver Bells 5k (the day after our holiday parade always on the Saturday before Thanksgiving), the Turkey Trot (on Thanksgiving) and the Scrooge Scramble (the first weekend in December). I was registered for all three last fall ready to capitalize on my relatively quick time in September's Capital City River Run 5k. In that race I felt amazing and surprisingly won my age group with a time of 27:48 (a long way from my PR but pretty solid for me the last few years).

All smiles after winning my age group in the Capital City River Run 5k

In November we visited our friends in Florida. I asked my friend to join me in a 5k, and he agreed. The race ran out and back over the Midpoint Bridge across the Caloosahatchee River, so it was, as my friend joked "uphill both ways like our parents walked to school". 

The morning before the 5k I went for an early run, and it was muggy. The race start was early, but I was glad given the humidity. Race morning was unsurprisingly warm, but we were excited to be out running on the gorgeous morning. 

The first part of the race had the sun at our backs. It was warm, but manageable. At the turnaround point we were running into the sun, and it was hot. I passed someone throwing up off the side of the bridge. There were several folks injured at the finish. When I crossed I felt so hot I couldn't cool down. I drank water, sat in the shade and put ice in my sports bra to cool down my core.

A warm finish in Fort Myers

I couldn't wait to get back to our friends' house and get in the pool. As soon as I got in the pool I was freezing and had severe chills. I assumed this was all heat related. I took a nap and felt crummy much of the day, but was feeling a little better the next morning.

We headed out to brunch where I didn't have an appetite. Then a little while later my husband looked at me and said, "You're not okay." I wasn't. I had chills and body aches. A check of my temperature showed a fever of 102 degrees. We had tested negative for COVID the day we left for Florida because my husband and son had colds. I assumed I had the flu.

A trip to urgent care showed I was dehydrated but also COVID positive. This was my first time testing positive for COVID. The doctor immediately prescribed me steroids and Paxlovid. I felt awful because we were staying with our friends. I also just felt awful. However the Paxlovid worked quickly, and within 24 hours my symptoms were gone which was amazing. 

I missed the Silver Bells 5k because it was my final day of masking. I tried to run early the week of Thanksgiving, and my lungs felt like they were on fire. I decided I'd miss all three of my favorite 5ks in order to give my body time to recover. 

In January I started running in earnest again, but it's been slow going. I've been working on a lot of intervals, so fast running combined with jogging and/or power walking. Over the last few years every time I've gotten back to a good running space I've taken a step back. 

When I was first sick with Crohn's at the age of 19 I lost a lot of weight and had a hard time with my usual workout of walking/elliptical and weight training. I wanted to feel stronger and took up yoga. I did yoga for years but have gotten away from it.

Last week I decided to unroll my yoga mat and give it another go. I'm out of shape. I definitely need to work on my flexibility. But instead of heavy cross training I'm interspersing yoga with my interval training. 

I'm going to run some 5k races this summer and enjoy it. That may be my distance from now on, and while I'm not okay with it, I will be. Maybe. My body has been through a lot the last 5-6 years, and as usual I've not given it a break. I still work out 5-6 days a week and push myself a lot, but I'm also giving myself grace on days when I don't feel great (like walking part of my intervals today instead of running them). 

The last four years have been weird, but if I've learned anything it's that time isn't promised. And it's okay to slow down to a walk. Or for a stretch.