I Can Definitely Have it All

Nearly five years ago I wrote a post about whether or not women can have it all. This was before I had a child, and I had a lot of preconceived notions about what would happen once a child joined my life. And you know what? My opinions haven't changed. I've decided that I can indeed have it all. 

Tonight I re-read that blog post, titled I Don't Know How She Does It. Nearly five years later, post having a child, I can affirmatively say that it is possible to have it all. It means being exhausted and constantly feeling like you're off balance, but it's possible.

When I wrote the blog five years ago I assumed my life would change once I had a child. It did, but not in the way I expected. I'm still as anal as I was five years ago. My house is tidy. My laundry doesn't pile up. I push myself to the limits, and my schedule is out of control. The major challenges have been 1) lack of sleep; 2) lack of time to myself and 3) inability to exercise like I used to.

I love running first thing in the morning. My son has always been an early riser. If he sleeps until 6 am we consider it a victory. Given that I'm used to running early in the morning it's made running difficult. I feel guilty leaving my son every morning to run. Couple that with my Crohn's issues and torn meniscus in the last year, and running has taken a back seat. 

Last week, on my last day of physical therapy, I ran for the first time in five months. It felt amazing. I've run twice this week. I'm so slow, and I'm only running a few miles. But I'm finding that thing that distracts me and lets me blow off steam. Running is the key to this whole thing. Running will help me keep it together.

I am attending the US Conference of Mayors this week in DC, and I met another Chief of Staff of a large city who has a four-year-old daughter (and had her while she was COS). We immediately started comparing mom of toddler notes, and I am inspired by her. My days are crazy. Someone asked me last week how many hours a day I work, and I estimated 15-16. I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to work. It's not because I want to; it's because my brain does not stop working. 


Early morning run in the District
My BFF's mom is a kick ass mom of five and has an amazing career. She told my BFF that women can have it all; we just can't have it all at once. I agree with that to some extent, but I now I think it's possible. My husband has stepped up in an amazing way to make sure everything is done. That doesn't alleviate my mom guilt for the hours I'm not home and the work he's doing that I used to do, but I have a phenomenal partner in figuring out my COS/mom/wife balance.

I don't have it all figured out, but I'm starting to think I can have it all at once. Having it all means I'm stressed and busy and running at 150 mph at all times, but it's doable. I love my son and husband more than anything in this world. I also love my job, and I shouldn't have to choose. Men get to be powerful businessmen, and nobody bats an eye. It may mean I lose sleep, but I can help run a city and be a great mom. The key is running. Running will help me keep it all together. I am my best self when I have an outlet for stress. Running helps me be me. After all...who needs sleep?

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