I Run These Towns

There's a lot of depressing things happening in the world. Crazy floods in my home state of West Virginia. Terror attacks in Europe. Mass shootings pretty much anywhere in the United States. It's disheartening and sad, and it's really easy to only see the negative in the world. The media tends to take any negative and focuses on it ad nauseam. It's not that these tragic events shouldn't be covered by the media nor should we in any way sweep them under the rug. But there's a lot of good in the world that gets overshadowed by the bad. There are those who don't know me well who think my snark and acerbic personality mean I'm a negative person. It's quite the opposite actually. I'm quite an optimist (this may ruin my rep), and too much deep negativity depresses me. I have a healthy dose of cynicism, but deep down I want things to be beautiful and lovely. I love happiness and love. Lately I've been ignoring the news. Seriously - head in the sa...

Babe Ruth said, "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up." I love that quote particularly these days when running feels a little harder. Last week I was in Northern Michigan for my office's annual board retreat. I went for a quick run one morning (maybe 2.5-3 miles), and my joints paid for it the rest of the day. Granted I also wore 4-inch wedges all day, but there are some things one just can't compromise.  Early this year I registered for the Charlevoix Half Marathon after realizing it coincided with our board retreat. I switched to the 10k after my hospital stay last month. I've barely been running, and the steroids cause crazy swelling in my joints when I do. I didn't really think I was even in 10k shape, but this was more about my running mental state than anything else.  On Friday morning I went from our retreat at Boyne Mountain to downtown Boyne City where my husband and son were to join me later that evening. I had the most relaxing day...

I love being alone. It happens less frequently these days than I'd like with a toddler and an otherwise busy life, but I crave alone time. I love complete silence - time to read a book or just sit and enjoy still. Being alone, however, is different than loneliness. Nobody likes that. One of the hardest things about being sick is feeling lonely. I have people all around me who care about my well being, but I don't want to be a sick person. I fight against that persona by pretending I'm fine. People have been asking me how I'm feeling, and my stock answer is a pause followed by "I'm okay". I realize this doesn't make me sound like I'm okay. The thing is I am technically okay, but I'm still off. I'm still not myself, and I have some frustrating Crohn's symptoms (TMI for even me to share) with which I'm forced to deal. It's hard to pretend like everything is okay when it's mostly okay with a few discouraging exceptions. I u...

Last weekend I discovered something about myself: I don't like to compromise. You might ask if this was actually a new discovery, and I suppose that's a fair question. Perhaps I was just reminded of it. Either way it turns out I don't like to compromise. I made this discovery during a sluggish, humid run on Saturday morning, a morning following a party where I may have had a lot of bourbon. And maybe a few Moscow mules.  My legs felt like they were made of cement. I was also ha vi ng difficulty catching my brea th which isn't us u ally a problem I have whil e running. I was short on time and just ran a few mil es to sha ke off the cobwebs, but even those few miles were tough. My body is less exci ted about running these towns these days than it is about taking a break. My mi nd is not happy with this disconne ct. Compromise is hard. I want it all. I want to do it all. I had a child and barely broke strid e. We have a really active social life, busy jobs, intense...

My kid is doing thi s amazing thing where he wakes up a round 5 am every day (the sarcasm is c oming through on the amaz ing pa rt right?) This morning he graced me with h is adorable presence at 4:30 am, about 30 minutes after I was awake ned by the street swee per outside my win dow. Needless to say afte r being in Ann Arbor for the morning, work ing all afternoon and fixing dinner/lunch for tomorrow/ tidying up the house it feels like I've been up for 48 hours.  Being Will's mom is magi cal. Even on long days that seem interminable, I love being his mother. H e's a wonderful little boy. Watching hi m figure out how to navigate life is a amazing. But sometimes at 4:30 in the morning I wonder how I 'll ma ke it through the day. How many cups of coffee will it take ? How wil l I focus on everything happening at w ork? Becau se even when one has an easy, happy child, being a mom takes an insane amount of work. I'm all too aware these days th at I'm also stil...