Last week one of my colleagues/really good friends left our organization for a new job. I realize this happens all the time, but we've worked together for eight years. It's been really challenging for me to accept, and halfway through her first week at a new job I'm still in denial. This is my friend Nikki who has been my daily confidante and frequent running friend (and has even had a blog dedicated to her!) I'm so excited for her new opportunity, but it's going to be weird to not plop into the chair in her office and talk about whatever is bothering me. Now I'll have to meet her somewhere for coffee (I should mention her office is two long blocks away). So much more inconvenient.
As large life changes are wont to do it got me thinking about moving on. God it's so hard. I think in general people hang onto things in life - relationships, jobs, goals - because it's so much easier to hang on than to let go.
I've been notorious for doing this with relationships - romantic relationships in the past and friendships. It's way easier to hang onto something that isn't working or isn't going anywhere than to be honest and move on. Moving on doesn't mean you discount what the relationship meant or how it changed you as a person. It's just that sometimes they can snowball into a whole thing and extricating oneself from it is harder than letting it linger on life support. In the words of Patty Smyth and Don Henley "sometimes love just ain't enough." Preach. I once had a rebound guy that I dated for two and a half years. Letting go is not always my forte.
Friendships can be the same way. We grow as people, and our friends aren't always growing with us or at the same rate. I've worked hard at surrounding myself with people who are supportive and letting go of those who aren't. Sometimes letting go of friendships has taken shape similarly to breaking up with a boy - I just stopped calling them until they got the hint. I never said I let go smoothly either.
I'm trying to move on with running goals as well. I'm just going to admit it - I hate marathons. I've trained for four of them, and I've completed three of them. (The fourth was canceled 15 miles in for heat, so not my fault.) I like the idea of the completing biggest running challenge I can undertake, but I do not enjoy it. Training for a marathon is not my idea of fun. I like to race more often, and marathon training doesn't allow for it. At some (this) point it's not worth it even if I've identified it as the most challenging running feat. As of today I'm letting go of marathons...maybe for good but definitely for now.
Moving on is hard across the board, and having the courage to make hard life choices is something with which I think I'll always struggle. For someone who doesn't like to make New Year's resolutions I've still set a number of goals for this year. One of them is to recognize when things don't work and move on. The best is still ahead of us.