I Run These Towns

On my birthday a few weeks ago I turned 47 years young, and I'd like to think I've amassed some wisdom in my nearly 5(!!) decades on this planet. One vital thing I've learned is this: there are people you're related to, and there is your family. Sometimes they're the same people, but sometimes they aren't. And you don't have to let people who are relatives run through your boundaries. Actually you should probably fortify them even more.  Perhaps this is a generational thing or the many years of therapy I've had, but I am always amazed when I hear someone talk about a relative treating them poorly: taking advantage, lying, being a total leech, and many more examples. And it's evidently permissible because they're "family".  Since the pandemic I've spent a lot of time focusing on relationships and the people who are the most important in my life. I've been evaluating the amount of time I have to spend with people and ensuring I...

As we steadily move into summer, my absolute favorite time of the year, I always want to take a minute and reflect on what I want from this season as a mom, a human and a professional. I love the slower pace of summer and intentionally carving out time to spend with my now 10-year-old son. I am acutely aware that the years I have to spend with him while he still adores me and wants to cuddle are dwinding. I want and need to make the most of every moment. It means my work load is always more flexible in the summer. I'll spend almost every day at the pool (even taking meetings there), and my family will be the center of my focus in an even more intentional way than it is during the busy of the school year. With my favorite little dude on opening day at the pool This season has me taking stock of the rest of my life too and thinking about the future of my professional life and things about which I am passionate. I'm preparing to take on a large new project in a few weeks, and I am...

Perfection is an impossible standard. As a perfectionist I am intimately aware of this fact. But here I am, sitting in Phoenix's Sky Harbor airport with a venti nonfat cappuccino, a couple of books to read on my flights and a huge smile on my face. Is this moment perfect? Probaby not, but it's pretty darn close. I've spent the last few days in Scottsdale, Arizona attending the Transforming Local Government Conference . I'll tell you my (not so secret) secret: I really don't enjoy conference sessions. There are people doing amazing work and changing the world, and I'm here for it. But I thrive in the in-between stuff: the networking breaks, the happy hours, the time when I get to meet and get to know other humans. That's my jam. So I'm in Arizona which is a warm and delightful break from the cold early spring in Michigan. I'm meeting and reconnecting with absolutely amazing and innovative local government professionals. These are my people. I love, lo...

I truly detest the phrase "it is what it is". I hear people say it regularly, and I cringe every single time. Because when I hear "it is what it is" I hear "I no longer care enough about whatever IT is to react in a different way". Saying "it is what it is" isn't accepting what one can't change. It's indifference to how you can react to the things you can't control.  Of course there are circumstances beyond our control where we cannot change or anticipate the outcome. Maybe it's an illness or an accident or someone else's decision that you cannot change. But to take whatever this circumstance is and say "well it is what it is" just feels like giving up. Sure, there are things I can't change. But what I CAN change is my reaction and how I manage the things that are out of my control.  I have a chronic illness. I could say "well it is what it is". I have Crohn's. I can't change it. So I'm ...

I really enjoy the show House Hunters even though there are lots of reasons to not enjoy it. (Ex: I raise butterflies for a living but our budget is $1.5 million!) One thing that I notice on almost every show is the buyers say "This space will be great for entertaining." It begs the question of how many people actually entertain. I love to host. LOVE it. I love to have people over and cook. I even have friends and family where I've hosted at their house. However I know most people don't host. The concept of buying a house with great entertaining space is probably lost on a lot of people, and that's okay. If everyone loved hosting I'd lose my role. However there are responsibilities on both the part of the hosts and the guests. I'm flummoxed by the lack of expectations and rudeness of both hosts and guests. Let's discuss. So you're the host. Properly hosting takes a lot of work. And let's be real - it's expensive. Unless you've expres...

Michigan winters can be brutal. When I first moved here, in February of 2006, the temperatures did not rise above freezing the entire month of February. Harsh. In fairness with climate change our winters have generally become more mild, but this one has been tough. It's been cold and icy without any of the things that make winter fun (like snow one can actually play in).  Yesterday I got up to walk my dog at 6 am like I do every day. I checked the temperature, and it was 17 degrees. I hesitated because I had zero motivation to go outside in the dark with temps in the teens to walk the dog. But then I thought about the busy day I had ahead of me. I wouldn't have another good opportunity to walk her. She needs exercise and so do I. So I sighed and bundled up to walk the dog. You see the winter I've had ZERO motivation for any of the things. I don't feel like walking the dog. I don't feel like exercising. I basically don't feel like going outside. The winter blues ...