I Run These Towns

I’ve been hospitalized 10 times since 2020. But I don’t see myself—and won’t ever call myself—a sick person. In early 2022, right before a surgery that turned into an unexpected multi-week hospital stay, I was running on the treadmill. My son, who was 8 at the time, told me he wanted to take a picture because I looked like “the strongest mom in town.” The photo my son took of the "strongest mom in town". I think about that moment a lot. That’s how he sees me. And it’s how I want to see myself. When I recently added up my hospitalizations, it caught me off guard. I know the past few years have been hard on my health—but I refuse to be defined by it. Influenced by it? Absolutely. Defined by it? Never. Still, when something like a bowel obstruction or abscess hits out of nowhere, I want to go into it as strong as possible. Strength helps me heal. It helps me come back—to be the mom and the person I expect myself to be. Nutrition has been a long, complicated battle for me. For 20...

We’ve all seen the memes: “New Year. New Me.”  All the positivity and fresh-start energy poured into the magical “new” person we’re supposedly going to become when the calendar flips.  And listen — as we all know, I am relentlessly positive. But I’m also realistic. And the idea that we become a brand-new person every January 1 is…kind of BS. So how was your 2025?  Did you crush it?  Did you survive it?  Either way: congratulations!  You made it to 2026. That alone deserves a moment of recognition.  To me, entering a new year doesn’t mean making resolutions you won’t keep or reinventing yourself overnight. It means refocusing . Adjusting. Re-centering. Being the best version of you that you can be — and sometimes, th at simply means making it through. I had a great year in 2025. I took on big new challenges at work. I ran more than I had in several years. We traveled a ton — I was in 20 states and the UK in those 365 days. I got to spend incredible ...

I have one of those treadmill programs where I can follow a trainer in some exotic locale and pretend like I'm not in my creepy basement surrounded by cobwebs. It distracts me. Mostly. Recently I was running, and the trainer was talking about fear. She was paraphrasing someone else and said something like "Fear won't kill you, but it will keep you from living." (Apologies to whoever originally said this for not giving you credit.) Speaking of living - that phrase has taken up residence in my mind for the last few weeks. It's had me thinking a lot about things that scare me. But fear is a complicated emotion. Fear and anxiety and stress all take up similar places in your brain, and sometimes it's hard to figure out which is which. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder about 15 years ago. I'll be honest: I was kind of pissed about it. Of course I'm anxious. Everyone  is anxious. My doctor prescribed anti-anxiety medication that I took for a hot second...

On my birthday a few weeks ago I turned 47 years young, and I'd like to think I've amassed some wisdom in my nearly 5(!!) decades on this planet. One vital thing I've learned is this: there are people you're related to, and there is your family. Sometimes they're the same people, but sometimes they aren't. And you don't have to let people who are relatives run through your boundaries. Actually you should probably fortify them even more.  Perhaps this is a generational thing or the many years of therapy I've had, but I am always amazed when I hear someone talk about a relative treating them poorly: taking advantage, lying, being a total leech, and many more examples. And it's evidently permissible because they're "family".  Since the pandemic I've spent a lot of time focusing on relationships and the people who are the most important in my life. I've been evaluating the amount of time I have to spend with people and ensuring I...

As we steadily move into summer, my absolute favorite time of the year, I always want to take a minute and reflect on what I want from this season as a mom, a human and a professional. I love the slower pace of summer and intentionally carving out time to spend with my now 10-year-old son. I am acutely aware that the years I have to spend with him while he still adores me and wants to cuddle are dwinding. I want and need to make the most of every moment. It means my work load is always more flexible in the summer. I'll spend almost every day at the pool (even taking meetings there), and my family will be the center of my focus in an even more intentional way than it is during the busy of the school year. With my favorite little dude on opening day at the pool This season has me taking stock of the rest of my life too and thinking about the future of my professional life and things about which I am passionate. I'm preparing to take on a large new project in a few weeks, and I am...

Perfection is an impossible standard. As a perfectionist I am intimately aware of this fact. But here I am, sitting in Phoenix's Sky Harbor airport with a venti nonfat cappuccino, a couple of books to read on my flights and a huge smile on my face. Is this moment perfect? Probaby not, but it's pretty darn close. I've spent the last few days in Scottsdale, Arizona attending the Transforming Local Government Conference . I'll tell you my (not so secret) secret: I really don't enjoy conference sessions. There are people doing amazing work and changing the world, and I'm here for it. But I thrive in the in-between stuff: the networking breaks, the happy hours, the time when I get to meet and get to know other humans. That's my jam. So I'm in Arizona which is a warm and delightful break from the cold early spring in Michigan. I'm meeting and reconnecting with absolutely amazing and innovative local government professionals. These are my people. I love, lo...

I truly detest the phrase "it is what it is". I hear people say it regularly, and I cringe every single time. Because when I hear "it is what it is" I hear "I no longer care enough about whatever IT is to react in a different way". Saying "it is what it is" isn't accepting what one can't change. It's indifference to how you can react to the things you can't control.  Of course there are circumstances beyond our control where we cannot change or anticipate the outcome. Maybe it's an illness or an accident or someone else's decision that you cannot change. But to take whatever this circumstance is and say "well it is what it is" just feels like giving up. Sure, there are things I can't change. But what I CAN change is my reaction and how I manage the things that are out of my control.  I have a chronic illness. I could say "well it is what it is". I have Crohn's. I can't change it. So I'm ...

I really enjoy the show House Hunters even though there are lots of reasons to not enjoy it. (Ex: I raise butterflies for a living but our budget is $1.5 million!) One thing that I notice on almost every show is the buyers say "This space will be great for entertaining." It begs the question of how many people actually entertain. I love to host. LOVE it. I love to have people over and cook. I even have friends and family where I've hosted at their house. However I know most people don't host. The concept of buying a house with great entertaining space is probably lost on a lot of people, and that's okay. If everyone loved hosting I'd lose my role. However there are responsibilities on both the part of the hosts and the guests. I'm flummoxed by the lack of expectations and rudeness of both hosts and guests. Let's discuss. So you're the host. Properly hosting takes a lot of work. And let's be real - it's expensive. Unless you've expres...

Michigan winters can be brutal. When I first moved here, in February of 2006, the temperatures did not rise above freezing the entire month of February. Harsh. In fairness with climate change our winters have generally become more mild, but this one has been tough. It's been cold and icy without any of the things that make winter fun (like snow one can actually play in).  Yesterday I got up to walk my dog at 6 am like I do every day. I checked the temperature, and it was 17 degrees. I hesitated because I had zero motivation to go outside in the dark with temps in the teens to walk the dog. But then I thought about the busy day I had ahead of me. I wouldn't have another good opportunity to walk her. She needs exercise and so do I. So I sighed and bundled up to walk the dog. You see the winter I've had ZERO motivation for any of the things. I don't feel like walking the dog. I don't feel like exercising. I basically don't feel like going outside. The winter blues ...

I love the holidays. December is always a blur of parties and events, and I love every single minute of it. I was hospitalized in early November, and one of my biggest fears was not being ready for all the holiday events I love so much. I shouldn't have worried.  I decorated for Christmas two weeks before Thanksgiving to be ready for the festivities. Starting the Friday before Thanksgiving we attended our community's holiday parade that kicks off the season and attended a cocktail party at a friend's house the next day. The day before Thanksgiving I put 225 Christmas cards in the mail. We had Thanksgiving with my in-laws and then flew to Arkansas where we enjoyed an annual weekend with amazing friends.  A weekend with friends in Hot Springs, Arkansas The first weekend in December we attended the inaugural Big Red Ball, a celebration of and fundraiser for our neighborhood organization Downtown Lansing, Inc. The following week was our son's 10th birthday and our 16th wedd...

I've spent more than 30 years beating myself up for how my body looks. Before I go any further let me be clear: this isn't a post with hopes that people will tell me I look good. Because honestly? It won't matter. I don't see myself the way I actually look. And what others think of me doesn't permeate these deep seeded body image issues. I've written about my body image issues before. Logically I know I'm not fat. It's not even that I think I'm "fat" per se; it's that my body doesn't look the way I want it to. It doesn't matter whether I'm at my skinniest or heaviest. I will find something to criticize.  I know how to dress myself well, so I can hide the things I don't particularly like about myself. After my last abdominal surgery (lucky #7) where my surgeon told me he "tried to make my stomach look normal but could only do so much", I have been very paranoid about one side of my stomach that (in my mind) sti...

A few months ago a friend told me someone we knew was venting that I share too much about myself in my blog and on social media. She said (I'm paraphrasing) something like "We all go through stuff. There's no need to share it." At first I was irritated until I realized this person has zero impact on my life. And it's true: we are all going through things. But since then I've been thinking a lot about why I am so candid about things in my life (in particular my struggle with Crohn's Disease).  I was 19 when I got sick. It was so embarrassing. No college girl wants to tell people they're dealing with bloody diarrhea and nausea and horrible cramps. That's the thing about a chronic illness: it's easy to feel like you don't have anyone to lean on. I had my colon removed 5 weeks before I started law school (the delightful adventure chronicled in this blog ). I began law school having lost 30 pounds in less than a month, with steroids puffing up m...

I have a confession to make: I don't think I'm my best self right now. I've been thinking a lot about being my best self overall (including fitness which is a huge thing for me), and I've come to a simple, unalienable truth: there is no shortcut. To be the best version of yourself (whatever that means) you have to do the work. I'm not the same version of myself at 46 as I was at 26. (Man could I give that girl some good advice though.) I spend a lot of time reflecting on who I am and who I want to be. While doing the work all the time seems daunting on its surface, it's not. It doesn't mean life has to be a grind 24/7, but it does mean that there is effort in whatever is important to you (which of course is unique to each of us). Where am I willing to do the work to be the best version of me? Fitness. I love exercise. My husband says I'm "obsessed", and I retort that there are way worse obsessions. While I'm logging way fewer miles than I ...

It was the spring of 1996, and my mom and I were at the mall shopping for my senior prom dress. I had decided I was only going to eat 500 calories a day over the weekend. It was track season, so I couldn't starve myself on practice and meet days, but in my mind it seemed perfectly logical to basically starve my healthy, 17-year-old body on less physical days. I was in the fitting room trying on dresses, and I heard the sales person say to my mom, "Your daughter is so tiny!" I was light headed and nauseous from not eating, but that overheard compliment made me feel like it was all worth it.  Senior Prom 1996 I've struggled with my body image since I was a pre-teen, and in the 30+ years that have passed it's still something with which I struggle daily. I spent years punishing my body so I wouldn't gain weight: eating very few calories and working out for hours, purging, taking laxatives, only drinking alcohol until I threw up so I wouldn't gain weight. It...