I'M RIGHT HERE

I'm obviously no shrinking violet. My favorite thing in the world is being the center of attention. It's the best. I don't shy away from the spotlight, and I expect to be noticed. 

Something nobody tells you before you become a parent is how much you will do, every single day, that nobody will notice. It's how much you have to accomplish and yet nobody will ever say good job. Hell nobody will even notice it's been done. They'll only notice if it's not done. And yet you've still got this to-do list of thankless tasks to mark off each day.

This week is a brutal one. I haven't been feeling well, and pretending to have my shit together is taking about 115% of my energy. Early in the week I was struggling with stomach issues and zero energy. Combining those symptoms with a remote work, virtual kindergarten and energetic 5-year-old is a recipe for disaster.

So I do what all moms do: I power through. I have myriad to-do lists both at home and at work. Monday I went into the office at 5 a.m. to get a head start on the day. My day ended 17 hours later after City Council adjourned. My to-do list is filled with timelines for economic development priorities, starting to think about the Mayor's State of the City (which is in January or February and feels surprisingly near), and notes to myself regarding policy priorities.

Love having the office to myself early in the morning

The things nobody notices? I pay bills, do laundry, and send out birthday, thank you and anniversary cards. Groceries show up at our house, and it isn't an accident. I take our animals to the vet. I get the car washed. I dust, vacuum, and clean our bathrooms. I am starting to design our Christmas card, and made an appointment to get my hair cut (which is the kind of thing that falls to the bottom of the list).

We have a kindergarten support specialist four mornings a week, but my husband and I go back and forth managing school in the afternoons. Some days school goes beautifully. Some days it's a total dumpster fire. 

Real footage of a bad day in kindergarten

I say all of this with the caveat that I have a very supportive husband who manages a lot of our busy life too. But sometimes I look at my lists and think what's the point? I'd love to go on strike and not do any of the things, but I'm too anal to let things go.

The things that rarely make the list? Running. Adequate sleep. Relaxation of any kind. My unnoticed to-dos are taking up a noticeable amount of my time and energy.  I know every mom reading this feels me, and it helps to know I'm not alone. I also know this busy time with my little family is short, and in the future I'll miss these busy days. I try to remember that when the lists get too long.

For all of you with unseen to-do lists I see you. We see each other. We've got this.