The Art of Disconnecting
Let's be real - I'm not good at vacationing or relaxing. One of the reasons my husband and I have always traveled so often is that if I'm away from home there's at least a chance that I will take a little break. There are no errands to run, chores to do, or events to attend. This year has challenged everything I thought I knew about life balance, and I thought I was sort of getting the hang of it. Let me rephrase: I have been getting better. In January I was in the office for several hours on each weekend day. I had my phone attached to my hand like an additional appendage during non-office hours. I sometimes wondered what I'd gotten myself into. Would the pace ever become less insane?
My husband predicted it would take six months to settle into a rhythm. He was right. By the time summer arrived I began to relax a little. While I still work a lot of hours and it varies depending on what's happening, I can sit my phone down for a while on the weekend without feeling like the sky is falling.
I thought that was enough. The balance felt better, and I was starting to figure it out. Here's the thing about me though: I take every challenge and own it. I become it. I love Lansing, and I love this job. This job isn't just what I do; it's who I am. It's become interchangeable in a way that is in some ways both impressive and disturbing. But it means I'm connected in a way that isn't just work. My life has become this complicated web of personal/professional that is hard to untangle.
Each day is a challenge, and each day is an opportunity. Even on the most challenging days I love it. But I admit that in the last month or so I've been out of steam. I've been exhausted and acknowledged that I desperately needed a break. I was mentally ticking off the days until I left for vacation in Boston and Maine.
In 2012 my husband and I took one of our favorite vacations to Maine. This year the hubs had a conference in Boston, and we decided to join him there and then drive to Maine. He cautioned me that our idyllic vacation of six years ago might not be repeated, but I wanted to try.
The days leading up to vacation work were particularly crazy. The Friday before I left I was running around the office like a maniac leading our staff to insist I actually disconnect. They make me awesome, creative signs to prove their point.
My son and I flew to Boston on a Saturday afternoon and spent several lovely and very hot days in Boston. We rode the carousel and visited with a lovely friend. We went to the aquarium. I discovered a love for an iced vanilla bean latte with coconut milk and my universe may never be the same.
Three days in Boston were lovely, but I was itching to get back to Maine. We drove to Maine via Concord, New Hampshire where we visited the Capitol (number 21 on our list and unequivocally the worst I've seen yet).
We drove a few hours north to Harpswell, Maine, and my soul felt at peace. My husband found us an amazing house on the water, and the photos don't do it justice. I loved the smell of salt water as soon as we got out of the car and the views. For the first time in months my soul felt at peace.
I triaged emails a few times a day and had several calls throughout the week, but I largely disconnected. I spent time with my boys. I went for a few tough runs on the hilly roads around our rental house. I ate too much seafood (including the best lobster roll of all time at Eventide Oyster Co. in Portland) and drank too much wine. I fell in love with Maine again. My heart was full.
I returned from vacation entirely relaxed and refocused. I know myself too well to know that I won't be type A and stressed again soon, but perhaps for the first time in my life I truly understand the restorative power of disconnecting. I came back refreshed and ready to focus on those important things that feed my soul: my family, my friends, exercise, writing and reading. I have been up before my alarm each day this week to exercise. I had a great run at 4:45 on Monday morning. My body is not in its best shape, but my mind is focused and clear. My body will get there.
In disconnecting from work last week I was reminded of the importance of reconnecting to all of the things that will ultimately make me better at my job. They'll make me mentally and physically healthier. I was worried that I would be disappointed by my second Maine vacation, but quite the opposite occurred. I found little pieces of myself that have been buried beneath the busy this year. Now I'm back and ready to be the best mom, wife, friend, and colleague I can be while appreciating that sometimes we all simply need to disconnect.
My husband predicted it would take six months to settle into a rhythm. He was right. By the time summer arrived I began to relax a little. While I still work a lot of hours and it varies depending on what's happening, I can sit my phone down for a while on the weekend without feeling like the sky is falling.
I thought that was enough. The balance felt better, and I was starting to figure it out. Here's the thing about me though: I take every challenge and own it. I become it. I love Lansing, and I love this job. This job isn't just what I do; it's who I am. It's become interchangeable in a way that is in some ways both impressive and disturbing. But it means I'm connected in a way that isn't just work. My life has become this complicated web of personal/professional that is hard to untangle.
Each day is a challenge, and each day is an opportunity. Even on the most challenging days I love it. But I admit that in the last month or so I've been out of steam. I've been exhausted and acknowledged that I desperately needed a break. I was mentally ticking off the days until I left for vacation in Boston and Maine.
In 2012 my husband and I took one of our favorite vacations to Maine. This year the hubs had a conference in Boston, and we decided to join him there and then drive to Maine. He cautioned me that our idyllic vacation of six years ago might not be repeated, but I wanted to try.
The days leading up to vacation work were particularly crazy. The Friday before I left I was running around the office like a maniac leading our staff to insist I actually disconnect. They make me awesome, creative signs to prove their point.
My son and I flew to Boston on a Saturday afternoon and spent several lovely and very hot days in Boston. We rode the carousel and visited with a lovely friend. We went to the aquarium. I discovered a love for an iced vanilla bean latte with coconut milk and my universe may never be the same.
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| Goofing around with my favorite little dude |
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| One of my all-time favorite photos of us at Old North Church in Boston |
We drove a few hours north to Harpswell, Maine, and my soul felt at peace. My husband found us an amazing house on the water, and the photos don't do it justice. I loved the smell of salt water as soon as we got out of the car and the views. For the first time in months my soul felt at peace.
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| Views from our deck. Amazing. |
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| So relaxed |
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| My heart. |
In disconnecting from work last week I was reminded of the importance of reconnecting to all of the things that will ultimately make me better at my job. They'll make me mentally and physically healthier. I was worried that I would be disappointed by my second Maine vacation, but quite the opposite occurred. I found little pieces of myself that have been buried beneath the busy this year. Now I'm back and ready to be the best mom, wife, friend, and colleague I can be while appreciating that sometimes we all simply need to disconnect.
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