I Run These Towns

I'm running the New York Marathon in four days. Even typing that statement is a little terrifying. A few years ago I opined that I'm a total taper hypochondriac . I thought this year would be different because I haven't trained that well. I was wrong. This week, in the final week before the New York City Marathon on Sunday, I've told my husband my back is killing me no fewer than 1,000 times.  My foot is inexplicably hurting. My old friend the IT band has decided to show up. What I can't decide is whether these are actual ailments or if they're in my head. I suspect the latter. Running a marathon is a strange thing. It's a huge physical and mental commitment, and it causes me to be introspective in this final week. I am not sure I'm ready, but I've felt that way for every marathon I've run. I feel excited/nervous/anxious/restless/inspired/grateful. This entanglement of emotions is heady on its own, but it feels outright overwhelming combined w...

As I look back at my last few blog posts, they're pretty f&*cking depressing. It's understandable given all that's been happening in my life, but it makes me realize that I haven't be honest with myself about the gratitude this anguish creates. That sounds like a weird sentence; stick with me. I don't think any of us are as grateful as we should be. We get frustrated by the small things in life (things like being on hold with my son's pediatrician every time for 15+ minutes) instead of maintaining perspective. It's easy to get impatient with my giant dog for nearly stepping on the baby instead of being grateful that he loves my son so much. It's easy to let the death of my father define my life in a negative way instead of it resulting in an inventory of the myriad blessings my father gave me for which I am thankful. When someone close to you dies it is a rare opportunity to appreciate how good and thoughtful people really are. My dad's fune...

Life is a strange and fragile thing. One moment we're living our normal, chaotic lives, and the next moment everything is different. I've experienced it with my own health to some extent, but it's easier when it's you. I don't worry about myself; I just focus on getting better. When someone you love is sick, it's a different animal. A few weeks ago my dad passed away pretty suddenly, and the normal chaos of life ground to a halt. It was replaced by a sadness and subsequently a numbness that I can't describe. I felt, and to a large degree still feel nearly two weeks later, disconnected from life and myself. One of my fav pictures of me with my dad after the Pittsburgh Half Marathon in 2013 A few years ago I wrote a blog about how grateful I am for my dad and what a hard worker he is. I've never known someone more invincible than my dad. It's hard to believe he's gone. As a matter of fact a part of me still doesn't believe it. I watched...

Yesterday the song "On Top of the World" by Imagine Dragons popped onto my playlist, and the first line got stuck in my head: "If you love somebody better tell them while they're here 'cause they just might run away with you." I love that song, and the lyric felt pretty poignant as I think of the craziness of the last few weeks. My parents aren't in perfect health, but I've always sort of considered them invincible. Well not really , but the idea of something happening to them isn't something I entertain. Worry is a useless emotion, so I try not to indulge it. My dad's surgery a few weeks ago and subsequent hospital stay has made me face the brutal reality of his mortality, and I can't say I'm amused. Despite my best effort, worry has weaseled its way into my psyche, and I don't appreciate it. On the positive side as I've spent the better part of two weeks commuting between Michigan and West Virginia I've gotten to spe...

One month from today I'm running the New York City Marathon . I am not ready. At all. As a matter of fact I couldn't be much less ready, yet I'm quite unconcerned. Life has been crazy the last few months (and even more so the last few weeks), and fitting in a long run has been very challenging. I firmly believe that one can fit in anything if they make it a priority, but if I'm being honest long runs are not my top priority right now. I am reticent to take time I should be spending with my son to spend 3-4 hours running. It's one thing to do a 30 minute workout; it's another thing to spend half the day running. My schedule has been crazy, and I've been gone more than I'd like. It seems entirely too self-indulgent to also be away for long training runs. Then there's the matter of my parents the last few weeks. They both had medical procedures last week, and my husband, the baby and I went home to help them for the better part of a week. Then my dad ...