I Run These Towns

Here's the thing about chronic illnesses: when they're active, they're all-consuming. When they're dormant, it's easy to forget one is sick at all. In the spring of 2006 my Crohn's was completely in remission for the first time in eight years. I had a new boyfriend, a new job in a new state, and a new life. Things were absolutely wonderful. I was still getting Remicade infusions, and they were working. It was easy to pretend like I didn't even have Crohn's much of the time, save the few hours I spent with an IV every six weeks. I felt, for lack of a better word, normal.  In April of 2006 a friend asked if I'd join her at a Team in Training presentation. She was a runner considering her first marathon, and I told her I'd join for moral support. I left the presentation having signed up for the team, poised to run the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco that fall. I had never run more than a few miles, but somehow I felt comfortable signing u...

In early 2005 life was pretty good. I had a job I enjoyed, my own place in a neighborhood I loved, and I was coming into my own as a professional adult human. My Crohn's was under control, and I felt confident about my disease. I was heading to see my boyfriend in Florida early one January morning when I got a call from my sister that she'd been in a fender bender, and she was now in labor several weeks early with my niece. I called my boyfriend to cancel the trip, and he was super irritated by it. My only sister was in labor with my first niece, and he expected me to miss it. (Red flag number 8,463). I got to be in the delivery room when my beautiful niece was born, and I didn't realize then that it would likely be the only time I'd ever seen a baby being born. It was a special way to start 2005.  With my newborn niece at her baby shower (that she got to attend) That summer my health was great for the first time in years. I hung out with my sister and niece, spent time...

For years my family said my dad was a heart attack waiting to happen: he was in the chemical corps working with Agent Orange in Vietnam, he was a coal miner for 30+ years, he was a former smoker and drinker. In the fall of 2003 it finally happened, and unfortunately for my dad his youngest daughter (me) was free to come home and badger him. After working nearly every day for decades, my dad didn't quite know what to do with himself. After three years of being busy in law school neither did I, so we were quite the pair. I spent a few weeks in WV driving my dad nuts because I wouldn't let him eat whatever he wanted. My sister asked me to come visit her in Norfolk, Virginia, and I'm pretty sure Dad was happy to see me go. My sister and brother-in-law (with whom I'd grown up so he was like a brother long before he married my sister) were a great distraction for how lost I felt. They didn't have internet at their townhouse, so I would visit my sister at work (she is an e...

In May of 2002 I packed up my car and cats, and my sister joined me for the two day drive to Texas. My ex was still living in an apartment with a friend for another month or so, but then we got our own place. I loved that apartment mainly because it was huge. We also had a great pool and hot tub at our apartment complex. I felt like a legit grown up.  I'm a girl who loves the mountains, and Texas is FLAT. I remember taking a wrong turn once and being able to see for miles across the brown landscape. Texas made me feel small. And lonely, but for more reasons than just the landscape. Letting the cats out en route to Texas Shortly after moving to Texas I got a job working as a paralegal in family law at a decent sized law firm. The firm was largely a personal injury firm, but I loved our tiny family law section. There was a lot to learn, and I became very close to one of the other paralegals. We would go to Bennigans together for lunch and make fun of our colleague (whom we nicknamed ...

It was June of 2001, and I had been married for exactly a month when my ex embarked on the first separation of our marriage, heading to Fort Knox, Kentucky for the summer. I quit my job at the mall and worked in the Dean's office at the law school for the summer. I loved the job and enjoyed seeing everyone who came into the office. I also got to do fun things like go on a field trip with the dean and a small team to buy new artwork by West Virginia artists for the student lounge.  The trouble started in July, three months after my ileostomy was reversed. I started to have abdominal pain and bleeding again, symptoms that had subsided during the time I had an ostomy. I was immediately freaked out because in my head having my colon removed meant I was gong to be free of those symptoms from that point on. I was not physically or mentally prepared for anything else.  I headed to Pittsburgh for a check-up with Dr. Schraut. A nurse took me into a procedure room, handed me a few enema...

I have never wanted to be an attorney. The advice I'd received, to spend the extra year at law school for more options, was the advice I was taking. I did not want to practice law. I was also starting three of the most challenging years of my life a month after major surgery, so that set the stage for my law school adventure. The week before classes started I drove up to buy my books. Law school books are large and heavy, and I was still restricted to carrying 15 pounds or less. I realized I still had to get the books home, so I carried them back to my car despite my restrictions.      I've always been very ambitious, but my mindset going into law school was less ambition and more survival. In the composite photo of my first year class my face is so swollen with steroids that it takes up nearly the entire tiny square in which I'm pictured. I didn't want people to know I'd just had surgery and certainly didn't want anyone to know I had an ostomy. It was time to s...

I had three months until law school started, and I was determined to make the best of them. My fiancé was attending ROTC training at Fort Lewis, Washington for the bulk of the summer, so we decided to go away for a long weekend with his family for the 4th of July. We went to the Canaan Valley resort area in West Virginia where his family had rented several houses.  My UC symptoms were getting too bad to ignore. While we were on vacation I struggled with eating and going to the bathroom often. I was also getting fevers, and then the fevers would break while I was napping, leaving me drenched in sweat. I called my doctor's office only to be told she was in Hawaii on vacation for several weeks. They told me to stop eating dairy, and that was about it. I was barely able to eat, so I was eating popsicles and sitting in the hot tub for long periods of time. One afternoon we decided to hike to the top of Seneca Rocks, one of my favorite places in WV. It's a 1.3 mile trail to the top, ...

It was the last year of the millennium, and in the spring of 1999 my junior year of college finished in a much less dramatic fashion than it had begun. My stomach issues definitely weren't gone, but they were being managed better with medication. That summer my fiancé and I were separated for the first time (of what would be many) in our relationship as he went to Fort Knox, Kentucky for ROTC training. I decided to join the debate team my senior year, and I jumped in with both feet by attending debate camp (a real thing) at the University of Vermont in Burlington. I had similar issues to Germany: my stomach was really unhappy in Vermont. It was worse than it had been at home, and I was embarrassed my new friends would find out what was happening. I loved adding debate to my senior year. I knew I only had a year, so I attended every tournament I could. In the fall semester I was at King's College in Wilkes-Barre, PA, at the University of Richmond, the University of Rochester, NY...

It was the summer of 1998. I was 19 years old and had the world in my hands. I'd just moved in with my brother and my boyfriend. I had my first grown up pet, a kitten I'd named Daisy (after Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby ). I received the opportunity to complete two semesters of foreign language credits by visiting Germany for a summer study abroad program. I was heading to Europe for the first time. Life was good. My sweet kitten Daisy Germany, however, was a bit of a surprise. I'd never traveled internationally, and I had no idea what to expect. After a long direct flight (my first one ever!) from Pittsburgh to Frankfurt it was a haul to get to Bamberg, Germany where I was studying. I did not know what to expect in Europe. For example I had no idea that outlets were different. I was shocked that I couldn't plug in my hair dryer and curling iron. It was cold and rainy the first few days. I was wildly homesick.  I quickly settled, but the culture shock was real. I...