I Run These Towns

I often have people comment about my positive attitude in the face of my health challenges.  Honesty? The last four years have been rough. I've tried really, really hard to stay positive and maintain a good attitude. Outwardly I've mostly succeeded. But there have been some dark times and days, and it's important to be honest about just how hard this can be.  In the fall of 2019 I had the first of five bowel obstructions I'd have over the next few years. I had no idea that it was the start of this challenging time, and I faced each obstruction with positivity and following all the steps. I once had a nervous new nurse inserting my NG tube in the ER, and I spent the time calming her down despite the knowledge that I was getting ready to have a tube shoved into my nose, down my throat and into my stomach.  NG tube selfie from August 2020 September of 2021 (and I obviously have a favorite headband) I had an abscess drained in March of 2021 (and kept the drain for 8 months)...

I love a handwritten note. Receiving one is, to me, one of the great joys in life. I'll send handwritten notes for all kinds of reasons: thank yous, thinking of you, congratulations, sympathy, or just because it's Tuesday. Every single day I have at least one handwritten note in my mailbox ready to be sent to someone. It's Wednesday, and I've already been to the post office twice. It has me thinking a lot about gratitude and being intentional about checking in with people this week. Being intentional and expressing gratitude doesn't happen naturally. Gratitude and intention are a practice. And practice, as they say, makes perfect. I've been thinking a lot about gratitude the last few months. The holidays are a season of gratitude. Presents are sent and received. Cards are exchanged. I send cards and presents because it makes me happy to send things to others. I love it. But I'm baffled that during this season of gratitude there are often not even acknowledge...

March 16, 2020 feels like 100 years ago. It feels like yesterday. We'd been having meetings at city hall discussing what we were then calling the Coronavirus and what we'd do if faced with it. That Monday morning we found out an employee had COVID-like symptoms. During the end of the previous week he'd been in several cross-departmental meetings, so the potential for exposure to other employees was very strong. We sat in the Mayor's conference room discussing what we should do and whether we should close city hall. I remember the breaking point being that if this person ended up having COVID and we knew he was symptomatic it would be a disaster. (He ended up having the flu but at that time the tests took forever).  We closed city hall. I went home late that morning and sat at my dining room table working. We didn't have Zoom or Teams or any of the video conferencing platforms we're so proficient with today. I will never forget how quiet the house was and how odd...

Nearly 17 years ago I'd never run more than a mile (MAYBE two) consecutively in my life. I went to a Team in Training meeting with a friend and decided to run a marathon. Like one does. I went from never running to training for my first marathon, and I was instantly addicted.  Running my first half (Nike Women's Half in San Francisco) in 2006 In the next decade I ran and ran and ran. Four marathons. Twenty two half marathons. Dozens of 5k and 10k races, and a few 10-milers and 15ks thrown in. I ran hundreds of training miles, and I loved every minute of it (even the hard ones).  Running both the 5k and 10k at the 5/3 River Bank run in 2015  (my first Mother's Day!) Happy tears after the New York Marathon When I was hospitalized for a month in 2014 I started running again right away. I ran a 10k three months after my hospital stay. Being a runner became a huge part of my identity, and I didn't know how to NOT be a runner. People suggest cycling (vomit) or walking, and no...

My social media shows the amazing summer I've been having. I've gotten lots of quality time with my son and husband. We're at the pool nearly every day per our summer norm. I've been traveling a lot. My business is booming, and I love the work I'm doing for my clients.  On one of the two trips to Oregon this summer What most people don't know is how often I'm faking it. Don't get me wrong: I am enjoying my summer. But I'm wearing a mask. Behind that mask I'm hiding that my Crohn's Disease is at its worst since I got sick 24 years ago. There have certainly been times where my disease has been more acute, but this is a very sustained period of feeling quite awful quite frequently. It's becoming tough to maintain my usually positive outlook. I find that I'm extremely impatient (and even angry) with other people. I know everyone has struggles they're managing, and it's not a competition. But where I generally want to be a supporti...

I was in law school 21 years ago when Legally Blonde premiered. I felt like, while Elle Woods didn't entirely mirror me, this was a character I understood. I've spent my entire life feeling too frivolous, too chatty, too perky to be serious . Serious people wear neutral colors and dark suits and flats (vomit) and frown a lot. If I wanted to be taken seriously, particularly as a woman, I needed to be more serious, whatever the fuck that means.  I love clothes. I have (I recently counted) 65 pairs of shoes not including flip flops and running shoes. I have a closet full of colorful coats and another filled with cocktail dresses (some of which I haven't even worn yet). Looking good makes me feel good. I don't own a suit. I don't do blazers. I don't feel good or powerful in them. I prefer dresses that fit me well and power heels. The heels give me my super powers (coupled with a glass of champagne makes me lethal).  At a presentation early this year. I felt amazing ...

It's been a tough few years for all of us, and even with all this pressure I feel like I've weathered the storms (pandemic, severe health challenges, no childcare, virtual school, job changes) pretty well. This month, May 2022, is when it all came crashing down. Dealing with the air conditioning tune up guy was what did me in. On May 4 I had surgery to drain/repair an abscess, the same abscess I had surgically addressed in 2016 and again last March. The infection just won't stay away, and I hate the idea of having another seton (drain) for who knows how long. But we scheduled surgery, and I came home feeling 1) relieved that it went well and I was heading home and 2) ready to heal and start running again and get back to "normal". When we got home from surgery I mentioned something to my husband about him dropping our son off at school the next morning (less than 24 hours after surgery for the record) and he mentioned he couldn't because he had meetings. So, le...